Children and Other Dangerous Objects
by expressionalism
Summary: Sam enlists Kurt's help with babysitting. Things don't go quite as planned.


Sam isn't entirely sure why he agrees to babysit for his aunt. He doesn't have any experience with kids, being an only child and all. He's never babysat before in his life. But, then again, he doesn't have any money and it seemed like a good idea at the time he signed up for it.

Well, that was before he learned that the kid was a _complete monster_. She's sitting in her high chair, wailing about something. He's tried feeding her baby food but all she's done is spit it back in his face and now he's currently looking around the kitchen deciding if gagging a child with a ShamWow is an appropriate parenting technique. _Probably not,_ he thinks to himself, instead opting to take out his phone.

He scrolls through his contact list. Puck and Quinn are definitely out. Children are probably still a touchy subject for both of them. He won't even bother with Rachel because he can't be bothered to put up with her at the moment. He tries calling Mercedes, but he doesn't get an answer. Santana and Brittany's phones go straight to voicemail.

That leaves two people. Kurt and Finn. Sam stares at his phone, Kurt's name highlighted on the small screen. He has the number, yeah, but he never had the guts to call or text the person behind it. He scrolls down one to Finn's name and presses dial. As the dial tone sounds in his ear, Sam curses himself, remembering Finn's phone is broken and the number he has in his phone is his home the one person Sam doesn't have the courage to speak to could be the one to answer the phone.

"Hello, Hudson-Hummel residence." Speak of the devil. Sam nearly hangs up and throws the phone against the wall. Realizing he's pausing for too long, he speaks into the phone.

"Um.. hi, Kurt. It's Sam. Is.. is Finn there?" he asks, hating how he sounds reminiscient of a dying animal. He takes the phone away from his face and clears his throat. He puts it back up to his ear just in time to hear Kurt's response.

"No, he's out at the moment, what is it?" Kurt asks, speaking quickly. Sam tries to keep up. "I... I can take a message or something." Sam sighs and shakes his head, then realizes that you can't see things through the phone.

"Uh... know anything about kids?" he asks, sounding sheepish to even his own ears. Kurt laughs on the other end, it's a musical noise. A noise that sometimes Sam can hear when he's about to fall asleep, when he's about to wake up. He hears it in the hallways at school, and it's kept in a little box in his memory, seeping out only at moments like this.

"Well, a little bit. What about them?" Kurt asks and Sam takes a deep breath, hoping that it'll give him a shred of bravery.

"Can you come over? I'm watching my cousin and she's a monster and-" Sam begins, but Kurt cuts him off, protesting.

"Sam, I look like I just crawled out of a burning opera house. I can't go out looking like this!" Sam laughs, in spite of himself, and knowing that Kurt doesn't find it funny. But there's something so... predictable about the situation. Besides, Sam isn't going to let Kurt off the hook that easy.

"I'm sure you look fine." Sam says, then pauses. Then all he wants to do is slap himself for saying that. "I mean, come over. It'll be... different to see you without being all high fashion.. or whatever." Sam stumbles on his words and the urge to slap himself only becomes stronger.

Kurt only laughs, apparently Sam's bumbling stupidity has humbled him. "Whatever, Sam. Where are you?" he asks, and Sam can't believe that Kurt is actually agreeing to this, so he gives Kurt the address in a happy daze.

"That's close to my house." Kurt comments. "I'll be there in five minutes." A small chuckle escapes from the phone again before Kurt says goodbye and hangs up. He doesn't wait for Sam to return the gesture, and Sam doesn't care because _Kurt is on his way over._

His cousin is still bawling her eyes out and Sam doesn't even care. He tries feeding her another spoonful and she spits it out again. Shrugging, Sam runs into the bathroom at the end of the hall and looks at his reflection. He tries to straighten out his appearance, then he remembers that Kurt is coming over looking he had apparently escaped some terrible disaster, according to him.

Sam messes up his hair and ruffles his shirt a bit, not because he wants to look at his best, but because he wants Kurt to feel better about himself, even though he'll probably look good anyway. The doorbell rings and Sam's heart shoots out of his chest.

Slowly walking towards the door,-because appearing over-eager is never a good thing- Sam takes a deep breath before opening it. Kurt stands there, and as expected, he looks fine. Sam gives him a once over. Messed up hair (for Kurt standards anyway), a McKinley athletics blue t-shirt and-can it be?- plain black sweatpants. Kurt's nervous laugh snaps him out of his reverie and Sam blushes, realizing that he had just been checking Kurt out.

"I'm aware of how awful I look, you don't need to tell me." Kurt says, taking a step inside and wincing at the piercing cry of Sam's cousin.

"No, you.. look good." Sam says, following Kurt into the kitchen. The brunette takes a seat next to the high chair and inspects the baby food.

"I see you tried to feed her?" he asks, picking up the plastic spoon with one hand and the small jar with the other. Sam nods.

"It worked as well as you think." he says, knowing that self-deprecation isn't ever attractive, but he does it anyway. Kurt looks up at him and smiles briefly and their eyes lock for a second and there is more communication in those few moments of eye contact than a weeks worth of meaningless conversation because in those three seconds there is only Kurt and there is only Sam.

Blinking, Kurt snaps both of them out of the daze as reality floods back in around them. He turns back to the baby and smiles. He crosses his eyes for a moment and she calms down slightly. From his spot three feet away, Sam smiles at them. Kurt gives him a quick glance and then returns his attention to Sam's cousin.

Kurt begins to feed her and she doesn't spit it back at him, much to everyone's relief. Sam pulls up a chair and sits opposite Kurt on the other side of the high chair. He notices if he leans forward just ever so slightly, their knee's touch. After a while, Kurt finishes feeding the baby and turns to look at Sam and they're both captivated again.

What Sam says next slips out, because he knows it's a dangerous subject with Kurt, but he can't stop himself.

"I've always wanted kids." he mutters, and a startled look appears on Kurt's face before his eyes soften and he leans forward and gently brushes Sam's lips with his own.

"Me too." he whispers against Sam's lips before pulling away and gazing back at Sam. Sam smiles ever so slightly before kissing Kurt once more, for longer this time. It's perfect because there is no reality, there is only Sam and there is only Kurt and all is perfect in their little world.

The baby laughs.


End file.
